Consent
Consent: it’s likely a word you’ve heard on campus. Understanding consent is a necessary f irst step toward the prevention of all forms of sexual misconduct. This means that cultivating a campus climate of prevention and understanding surrounding sexual assault is built around the very important idea of consent.
Therefore, to inspire a community free from all forms of sexual misconduct, we should be talking about it. This guide provides basic information about consent — to help spark and guide conversations across campus.
So, What is Consent?
Consent, at its most basic level, means everyone involved wants to participate.
Consent is defined…
As a noun: a voluntary agreement to another’s proposition
As a verb: to voluntarily agree to an act or proposal of another, which includes sexual relations.
More about Consent
To better understand consent, it is important to understand key terms and related concepts.
Sexual Consent is when all parties agree to engage in sexual activity. Consent should always be mutual, voluntary and given without pressure, intimidation or fear. Consent must be freely, affirmatively and enthusiastically communicated between all individuals — in other words,
YES MEANS YES!
Enthusiastic consent encourages individuals to provide their yes, to express intent to participate and to ask their partner(s) for their yes. It is the responsibility of the person initiating sexual activity to make sure they’ve gained the consent of their partner(s). Consent should be verbalized.
Consent must be obtained at each step and be present throughout sexual activity. At any time, a participant can communicate that they no longer consent to continuing.
Silence, lack of protest or no resistance doesn’t equal consent. Anything – fear, incapacitation, cognitive disability — that reduces or impacts an individual’s ability to exercise free will means that consent isn’t present in that situation.
The existence of a current or previous relationship, by itself, is not sufficient to constitute consent. Even in the context of a relationship, a willingness to engage in sexual activity must be freely and affirmatively communicated, each and every time.
Consent is ACTIVE
Consent is CLEAR
Consent is VOLUNTARY
ASK FIRST!
Coercion is the use or attempted use of pressure/oppressive behavior, including express or implied threats, intimidation or physical force, which places a person in fear of immediate harm or physical injury or causes a person to engage in unwelcome sexual activity.
Examples of coercion are:
- Pressuring someone to consume a substance with the intent to impair that person’s ability to consent prior to engaging in sexual activity
- Threatening to break up with someone if they don’t engage in sexual activity
Incapacitation is the inability, temporarily or permanently, to give consent because an individual is mentally and/or physically helpless, unconscious or unaware that the sexual activity is occurring. An individual who is incapacitated cannot consent to sexual activity. Consent doesn’t exist when the individual initiating sexual activity knew or should have known of the other person’s incapacitation.
Examples of incapacitation are:
- An inability to understand implications of the situation due to drugs or alcohol
- Having a mental disability or not being able to understand based upon their age
- Being asleep or unconscious
Someone who is incapacitated due to alcohol or other drugs CAN NOT consent.
Sexual Exploitation is committed through non-consensual use of another person’s sexuality for the purpose of sexual gratification, financial gain, personal benefit or advantage, or any non-legitimate purpose. Sexual exploitation occurs without the knowledge and consent of all participants.
Examples of sexual exploitation are:
- Watching, recording or photographing someone in a location where there’s a reasonable expectation of privacy
- Social media posting without permission of all parties involved
Retaliation is any intimidation of an individual because they made a report or participated in an investigation and/or resolution of an allegation of sexual misconduct.
Examples of retaliation are:
- Encouraging one’s peers to harass or intimidate the other individual
- Departing from a typical (employment or academic) practice regarding the individual
Sexual Harassment is unwelcome conduct or behavior, including sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal, nonverbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature. It creates a hostile environment when the conduct limits or denies a person’s ability to participate in or benefit from educational programs or when it affects employment.
Examples of sexual harassment are:
- Continued efforts to develop a relationship after being denied
- Commentary about an individual’s body or sexual activities
- Unwelcome physical touching or closeness
- Jokes/teasing of a sexual nature or based upon gender stereotypes
Sexual Misconduct
In addition to Sexual Harassment, Sexual Violence and Sexual Exploitation, SEXUAL MISCONDUCT includes:
Dating/Intimate Partner Violence. This is violence by a person who has been in a romantic or intimate relationship with the victim.
Stalking This is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for her, his or others’ safety, or to suffer substantial emotional distress.
Both dating/intimate partner violence and stalking are rooted in cycles of power and control. Actions such as telling lies, creating social isolation, threatening one’s friends or family or pets, controlling someone’s use of time, etc. might indicate an abusive relationship.
Below is one variation of the Power & Control Wheel, a diagram which is particularly helpful as a tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors. Often, one or more incidents are accompanied by a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.
Power & Control
Anger and Emotional Abuse
Using Social Status
Intimidation
Minimize / Deny / Blame
Threat
Sexual Coercion
Isolation / Exclusion
Peer Pressure
Consent Is...
The look on someone’s face and that person’s body language are both ways of communicating. However, these are NOT reliable indicators of consent in sexual interactions. Always have a verbal conversation about consent.
If consent is not clear, then you should STOP what you are doing right away and TALK about it.
There are, however, other signs that your partner may not be comfortable with what is happening:
- Not pulling you closer, touching you or reciprocating, and/or pushing you away
- Turning away or hiding their face
- Stiffening muscles and/or other obvious signs like tears or shaking
- Lack of any sort of verbal feedback; silence is not consent
Asking questions while also being aware of body language helps you figure out if the person you’re with is:
- Consenting and feeling comfortable, or
- Not consenting and feeling uncomfortable
Easily give Consent.
- Am I free to choose whether or not to engage in sexual activity?
- Am I able to stop the activity at any time during the sexual contact?
Am my partner’s equal.
- Do we both have equal personal power?
- Do neither of us dominate the other?
Build respect and trust.
- Do I regard myself and my partner positively?
- Do I feel respected and supported by my partner?
- Do I respect and support my partner?
- Do I trust my partner and am I trustworthy for my partner, physically and emotionally?
Am safe.
How to Support Surviviors
19% of female-identified students and 6% of male-identified students report experiencing some form of sexual misconduct during their time in college. Therefore, it’s very likely that over the course of your college career, you may know someone who needs your support. You can show your support when you…
Listen. Listen actively and nonjudgmentally. It’s not about saying the “right” things, but instead creating a supportive space for people to disclose difficult experiences. Focus on listening and allow them to disclose as much, or as little, as they want. Allow them to go at their own pace and be careful not to press for details.
Believe. Believing someone is one of the most important things you can do. The first disclosure often sets the tone for how people engage with their entire healing process. People who disclose to someone and are believed are more likely to seek additional help.
Understand Trauma. In the midst of trauma, especially sexual assault, the brain’s fear dominates and all that’s left may be reflexes and habits. This can lead to freezing, not fighting back and even memory loss of the event.
Restore Choice. Healing occurs when survivors can make their own choices about what to do next. Respect and support their decisions, while helping them maintain control of the process.
Stay Committed. Healing is not a linear process. There are some days that will be better than others. Be careful not to assign an arbitrary timeline. Ask what support means to each person, since we all have different definitions and expectations about support.
Know Your Limitations. Sexual assault may bring up strong emotions and reactions for you. Don’t push aside your own needs. Instead, talk with someone and ask for help.
Understand Social Issues. Gender identity, race, ethnicity, class, religion and other identities often factor into how survivors navigate their experience. Be mindful of individual and institutional culture’s impact, including how survivors interact with different systems such as administrators, law enforcement, counselors, etc.
How to Intervene
A bystander, or a person who is present at an event or incident but does not take part, has the ability to prevent sexual misconduct on campus…by intervening.
Bystander Intervention involves developing the awareness, skills and courage to interrupt a situation in which another person may need help. It provides an opportunity to send powerful messages about what is acceptable, expected behavior within our community.
How to Create a Campus Culture of Consent? Creating a culture of consent is everyone’s responsibility. We must each work to ensure that all community members have the right to enjoy and engage with their academic, professional and social spaces free from harassing, harmful behavior.
Campus policies explain “what” and procedures explain “how”; we all have the responsibility to promote a culture of consent and respect by putting these policies and procedures into practice. And talking openly and honestly about consent will lead to enhanced understanding, sexual assault prevention and a campus climate of respect.
How to Intervene Using the 3D’s
An effective bystander intervention approach directs involvement by using the 3 D’s: Being direct, creating a distraction and delegating responsibility.
- Direct - Directly intervening, in the moment, to prevent a problem situation from happening.
- Distract - Interrupting the situation without directly confronting the offender. You divert attention away from the situation.
- Delegate - Seeking help from another individual such as a friend, supervisor, colleague, police officer or any individual you feel can help.
Combined Chart Sources: LiveTheGreenDot, Wesleyan University and the Office for Civil Rights Resource Guide
All Students Have the Right Too..
- Make a report to campus, and/or local law enforcement and/or state police
- Have disclosures of domestic violence, dating violence, stalking and sexual assault treated seriously
- Decide whether or not to disclose a crime or violation and participate in the judicial or conduct process and/or criminal justice process free from institutional pressure
- Participate in a process that is fair, impartial, and provides adequate notice and a meaningful opportunity to be heard • Be treated with dignity and to receive from their institution courteous, fair, and respectful health care and counseling services, as available
- Be free from any suggestion that the reporting individual is at fault when crimes and violations are committed, or should have acted in a different manner to avoid such crimes and violations
- Describe the incident to as few institutional representatives as practicable and not be required to unnecessarily repeat a description of the incident
- Be free from retaliation by the institution, either party and/or their friends, family and acquaintances within the jurisdiction of the institution
- Be accompanied by an advisor of choice who may assist and advise a reporting individual, accused, or respondent throughout the judicial or conduct process including during all meetings and hearings related to such process
Florida Tech does not tolerate retaliation against individuals bringing a complaint or participating in an investigation. The ultimate responsibility for maintaining an environment free of discrimination, harassment, and retaliation rests with all members of the University community.